


Silent Ambush

by Britt89



Category: 911 - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Buck is in another relationship, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29321091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Britt89/pseuds/Britt89
Summary: 3 months ago when they returned from Texas - Buck’s realizations rocked his relationship with Eddie to the core. Now it’s time to rebuild to the new normal or whatever that might look like.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)/Reader, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 120





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi All! I am not new to AOOO or writing, but this is my first 911 and my first Buck and Eddie! Spoiler alert - I love angst, but I also love a happy ending! This has been a thought in my head I could not get rid of and I am finally putting it down into words. Let me know what you think! :)

Buck stared at the wooden door before him. _How did he get here?_ To a place where standing in front of a door he’d knocked on a million times felt foreign and terrifying to him all at once. He licked his lips as he stared at the 3 little numbers on the door representing the apartment number. _403\. Was the 0 suddenly crooked? Had it always been crooked?_ He shook his head. Now he was procrastinating. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and exhaled. His balled fist rose up from the side of his body as he pressed his knuckles to the door just below the numbers. He knocked three times.

Afterwards he repelled backwards with a step almost stunned he’d finally got the courage to knock after what seemed like an hour. A few seconds later, the door swung open. The familiar chocolate brown eyes that he knew so well held nothing, but surprise. Buck swallowed the lump in his throat and waited on baited breathe – half expecting the door to be slammed in his face.

“Buck, uh, hey” the response matched the emotion in his eyes – shock.

Buck smiled nervously “Hey Eddie”

“Is…” Eddie hesitated “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah” Buck pushed out quickly “I was just wondering if we could – um – if we could talk?”

Eddie glanced over his shoulder and then turned back to Buck “Yeah, sure, I was just going to start on some dinner. No rush though – it’s just me tonight.”

Buck nodded slowly “Yeah, I know Chris is usually with your Abuela on Monday’s – it’s kind of why I picked tonight.”

Confusion filled Eddie’s eyes as he nodded slowly, taking a step back and allowing Buck to brush past him into the house. He closed the door behind him. He took a deep breath and turned back to the slightly taller blonde. He was standing anxiously by the dining room table now and fidgeting with his hands nervously.

Eddie cleared his throat “It never seems to feel this awkward at work.”

Buck looked up “I guess we have more distractions – not really time to think about the awkward, uh, friend dynamic.”

Eddie nodded “Yeah, I guess. You want a drink…”

“No” Buck cut him off “I really want to just get this out before I lose my nerve.”

“Okay” Eddie responded slowly

Buck took a deep breath “I replay that night 3 months ago in my head over and over again. We had been back from Texas for like a week and it had been the longest week of my life. I realized things about myself that I sometimes still cannot believe I missed for 26 years. I mean I can’t say the thoughts never crossed my mind, but I never drew the lines to connect the dots.”

“Buck” Eddie tried

“Please, Eddie, Please” Buck begged “I know we don’t talk about it. I know we agreed that night to keep our distance and just stay professional. Honestly looking back, I think it’s the best thing that could have happened for everything I’d been feeling. It gave me a chance to heal and move on.”

Eddie cleared his throat, nodding slowly and looking down.

“But the thing is Eddie, I miss my best friend and I miss Christopher.” Buck confessed

Eddie looked back up, emotion laced in his eyes as his brown eyes met the tear filled eyes of Buck “Chris misses you, too.”

Buck smiled and glanced down, attempting to compose his emotions.

“We both do.” Eddie added

Buck looked up, a small smile playing on his lips. His smile soon faltered as he turned more serious again. “I know it’ll take time for us to be friends again, if we can be, if I didn’t ruin it. But, um, I was wondering if maybe I could still see Chris every now and then.”

Eddie chuckled nervously “I think Chris would love that.”

Buck breathed a sigh of relief “I feel like an ex-lover asking for visitation, god, this is so weird.”

Eddie cleared his throat nervously, his eyes going back to his feet.

“Sorry” Buck closed his eyes quickly and then opened them back up “You know me and my lack of ability to not put my foot in my mouth when I shouldn’t. I was just trying to say that…”

“I got what you mean” Eddie interrupted “You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me, Buck. It’s okay, you know. Christopher asks about you all the time and it got to a point where telling him you were too busy didn’t work anymore. He knows better. He knows your never too busy for him, so I had to explain that we couldn’t be friends right now and unfortunately that meant you guys couldn’t be friends right now either. I know that was probably a really shitty way to put it, but I didn’t know how else to explain it to my 8 year old.”

Buck shook his head “It’s okay - it’s my fault. I put you in a god awful position and I...”

“You don’t” Eddie paused “You don’t have to apologize for your feelings. I know I was a royal ass that night, Buck. I know we haven’t talked about it since, but you were honest and I was an ass. I’m sorry, too.”

Buck nodded slowly “Thanks, Eddie. But you don’t have to apologize – I put you in a position that was so unfair.”

Eddie shook his head. Reliving that night was making his hands sweat. “We don’t have to rehash old wounds – one step at a time. One step forward that is.”

“Right” Buck agreed “So change of subject. I was wondering if maybe I could take Chris to a Lakers game on Friday night?”

Eddie raised his eyebrows “What? Chris would flip. Of course.”

Buck smiled “I also have to be honest. I don’t know how you feel about my lifestyle and I swear I would never flaunt it in front of Chris, but we might see Luke afterwards and he might ask questions…”

Eddie’s smile faltered “Whose Luke?”

“You don’t know?” Buck asked

Eddie shook his head slowly “No”

Buck paused “I guess I’ve never really brought it up at work, but Chim knows because of Maddie and I guess he would have gossiped – guess I was wrong. Anyways, Luke Reed is my boyfriend.”

Eddie couldn’t contain the shock that cursed through his body or the emotions he felt at that omission. _Did it bother him that Buck had a boyfriend? Or did it bother him that Buck thought he might be homophobic?_ He was pulled from his thoughts by Buck clearing his throat.

Eddie licked his lips “Luke Reed from the Lakers? Your dating Luke Reed?”

Buck smiled slowly “Yeah”

Eddie pushed his emotions away “How the heck did you meet Luke Reed? And better yet how the heck did you get Luke Reed to date you?”

Buck playfully grabbed his heart, feigning pain “You wound me, Diaz. We actually met through Maddie. His little sister was her trainee at the center and she introduced us. Well she played matchmaker and it actually worked.”

Eddie smiled – it was the only thing he could do. “That’s great, Buck. I’m happy or you. How long have you been seeing him for?”

Buck contemplated the question “Officially like a month – but we hung out a few times before that, too. I’ve known him almost 2 months.”

Eddie nodded slowly “That’s great”

Buck chewed on his bottom lip “Yeah, he’s great. So anyways, Chris and I would be in his box seats with a couple other players and their wives/kids, etc. So their would be plenty of room for him to navigate and…”

Eddie raised his hand as to stop him “I told you before, Buck, there’s no one I trust more with my son. I know he’ll be fine and you guys will have a blast. Also, I want you to tell Christopher whatever you are comfortable telling him about you and Luke. You can tell him he’s your friend, your boyfriend, whatever. It’s your story to tell and whatever you feel comfortable discussing with Chris is totally fine by me.”

Buck took a slow deep breath, his insides shaking “I’m really glad I got the nerve to come over here tonight.”

Eddie smiled “Me too, Buck.”

“I’ll let you know the details tomorrow at work?” Buck offered

Eddie nodded “Sure”

“Alright” Buck grinned as he clapped his hands together “Um, have a good one!”

Eddie turned slightly to clear the path for Buck who started for the door and offered a “You, too.”

Before he knew it – the door closed and Buck was gone. Only the faint smell of his aftershave lingering. Eddie turned to the closed door, his emotions taking over now that he was finally alone. He was so relieved that Buck had darkened his doorstep tonight. He’d wanted to apologize for weeks, months, but pushing it down and away was so much easier. Pretending it didn’t happen was so much easier. Eddie sauntered over to his couch and sat down slowly. He rubbed his sweaty palms slowly against the cotton fabric of his sweats. 3 months ago his best friend had come into his apartment one night and blown his mind. His response was complete crap and he shut down at a time when his best friend needed him the most. Now, those wounds seemed to be healing. So why did it almost feel like the scab had just been picked off said wound?

Eddie took a deep breath as his mind travelled back 3 months in time to that night.

_“Buck?” Eddie grinned as he pulled his door open to find his best friend on the other side at 9pm at night. His smile faltered as Buck’s head rose and his blue orbs met Eddie’s eyes. Eddie immediately knew something was wrong._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thank you for the reviews - I really appreciate the feedback! I am so sorry if my tagging and experience with AO3 is a little rookie - I am still learning. I did update some tags, I hope that helps! I also updated the chapters. I am not sure how long it will be, but it’ll be a bunch of chapters to follow. So settle in! :)
> 
> Thanks again!  
> Britt

_“Buck?” Eddie grinned as he pulled his door open to find his best friend on the other side at 9pm in the evening. His smile faltered as Buck’s head rose and his blue orbs met Eddie’s eyes. Eddie immediately knew something was wrong._

_“Buck” Eddie breathed again when the younger man didn’t respond_

_Buck opened his mouth to respond “Do you have some time to talk?”_

_Eddie nodded slowly “For you, always!”_

_Buck looked right through him, lost in thought “Chris?”_

_Eddie glanced over his shoulder absentmindedly “He’s passed out – it’s after 9pm on a school night, dude.”_

_Buck stared at him “Okay”_

_Eddie stepped back to allow Buck space to enter “Your kind of scaring me, Buck!”_

_Buck brushed past him and into the living room. He sat down rapidly on the couch before standing back up. He stared straight ahead at the blank television screen._

_Eddie watched him with great intent. He closed the distance between them, his hand going to his right shoulder. Buck inwardly jumped at the contact, but didn’t really move otherwise._

_Eddie cleared his throat “Do you want to sit down? Can I get you a drink?”_

_Buck glanced at him, nodding slowly and sitting back down on the couch. His fingers thumbed nervously on his knees almost like they were percussions._

_Eddie continued to watch him with great concern “Should I get us some beers?”_

_Buck hesitated and Eddie took that as a yes, turning to leave the room before Buck stopped him. His hand reached out grasping for Eddie’s wrist “Can we just talk?”_

_Eddie look down at his wrist, the searing feel of Buck’s hot palm on his wrist was captivating. Buck’s hand was scorching hot and clammy. It sent chills up his forearm in a way he couldn’t even explain._

_Eddie moved to sit on the coffee table in front of Buck. Their knees barely grazed as he sat down and Buck released his wrist. He instantly felt cold at the loss of touch._

_“Buck” Eddie breathed “Whatever it is, you can tell me, you know.”_

_Buck’s eyes looked slightly calmer as they stared straight into Eddie’s brown eyes. He nodded slowly before looking away and looking back to meet Eddie’s intense gaze. “Last week in Texas when we were saying our goodbyes, I told TK if he was ever out this way, we should get together.”_

_Eddie smirked slowly “Okay.”_

_Buck licked his lips “TK is gay, Eddie. He thought I was, too. He thought I was hitting on him.”_

_Eddie felt the blood rush to his face and his cheeks getting hot. He laughed off the feeling. “What? That is ridiculous, Buck, I mean…”_

_“Is it?” Buck interrupted “Is it ridiculous?”_

_The fake laugh was gone from Eddie’s face. He stared at Buck with intent. “You think your gay?”_

_Buck shook his head slowly “No, Eddie, I don’t. But it got me thinking about things I didn’t really entertain before. Like in high school I found myself really intrigued by my girlfriend’s older brother, Grayson, who was gay. I hung out at her house all the time and he’d always make excuses to hang out with us. If she was stuck doing extra homework as she was in a lot of advanced classes – he always entertained me. We’d play video games, throw the football around, go swimming, and stuff like that. When Kendra – my girlfriend – her name was Kendra, when we broke up, I swore I missed Grayson more. I shrugged it off as we had become really close and he was a cool guy, pretending the inappropriate thoughts I had about him more than once didn’t exist. I was just a hormonal teenager, right? Anyways, when TK brought it up last week – it was like a slap in the face. I was suddenly 17 again pretending that Grayson’s chiseled body didn’t take my breath away when I’d steal glances at him while we were swimming. Then I was standing outside the mall talking to the girl in the elf costume after you and Chris had walked off complimenting what a cute kid we had and I didn’t correct her. I didn’t correct her! I liked how it sounded. I could imagine a life with you and with Chris. I would be lying to myself if I said I didn’t play off or push down feelings I might have had for you many times before. The butterflies in my stomach, Eddie, they aren’t normal for two friends. Then I got to thinking, I might not just love you like a best friend! I might really be in love with you, and that feels so crazy to say out loud, but my heart…”_

_Eddie’s eyes darted back and forth between the floor and Buck’s eyes as he tried to process everything his best friend was telling him. His head was spinning. He tuned the younger man out, sitting up straighter and inhaling slowly._

_Buck watched Eddie’s reaction. Eddie was gone. He’d lost him at some point, he’s not sure when. He reached his fingers out slowly to graze Eddie’s knee in an attempt to bring him back. Eddie’s body betrayed him, his hand sliding down his leg to slowly meet Buck’s fingertips. Their fingers slowly intertwined as all Eddie could hear was the pounding in his ears._

_“Eddie” Buck whispered in a tone Eddie couldn’t even recognize_

_Eddie repelled violently, his heart racing as he pulled from Buck’s grasp and stood up. Walking to the other side of the living room, getting as far away from the situation as possible._

_“Eddie” Buck repeated his name as he stood up from the couch and faced him._

_He took a few steps toward the brunette whose standing against the wall now, back braced against it for support._

_Eddie raised his eyes to meet him “No, I’m not gay. I don’t. What are you saying, Buck?”_

_Buck stared at him “I don’t really know, I am just trying to be honest…”_

_“And what the hell am I supposed to do with this honesty…” Eddie raised his voice slightly_

_Buck’s eyes widened slowly at Eddie’s tone. He knew this side of Eddie, but the only time it had been directed at him in the past was during the lawsuit. He’d hurt Eddie. The realization pained Buck. He’d swore to never hurt Eddie again, but he was doing it._

_Eddie glanced down the hallway, suddenly aware of his surroundings and lowering his voice “Buck, what exactly are you trying to say? What are you asking of me?”_

_Buck shuttered, tears pricking at the back of his eyelids “I have been with women. I like women. But I don’t think I can deny the fact that I like men, too. Especially because I’m in love with you Eddie.”_

_Eddie inhaled sharply, the weight of Buck’s confession slamming him. He leaned back against the wall. This was all too much for him._

_Buck took another step closer “Eddie, please tell me what your thinking.”_

_Eddie chewed on his bottom lip as he shook his head. “When?”_

_“When?” Buck repeated “I don’t know when it happened, but the revelation is new to me, too.”_

_Eddie’s eyes stayed focused on the floor “What? What does this all mean?”_

_“I don’t know.” Buck whispered “What are you thinking? What are you feeling?”_

_“Betrayed.” Eddie spat quietly_

_Buck reeled “Come again?”_

_Eddie looked up. The blank expression in his chocolate brown eyes was terrifying. “I don’t know what you want from me, Buck. My best friend just told me – he wants to take me to bed!”_

_Buck gasped, his blue eyes filling up. His emotions betraying him. “Eddie I never said..”_

_“You said…” Eddie tried_

_“I said” Buck interrupted, his voice just above a whisper “That I fell in love with you. I was just being honest with you, Eddie. God, I didn’t do this to hurt you. Do you think I want this? To feel some type of way that makes my best friend, the person I trust more than anyone in my life to be looking at me the way your looking at me right now. It wasn’t some master evil plan – trust me if I could not feel this way, I would.”_

_Eddie nodded slowly. Pushing away a pang of guilt from the words Buck spoke. “I think you should go.”_

_Buck stared at him “That’s it. What happens tomorrow for shift?”_

_Eddie stared at him “I don’t know. I don’t know anything right now.”_

_“Okay” Buck’s tone went blank “I’ll keep my distance. We’ll keep it professional.”_

_“Space is for the best right now.” Eddie agreed, his eyes trained on the floor._

_Buck licked his lips, feeling the emotions boiling up from the pit of his stomach. “I’m sorry, Eddie.”_

_He turned towards the door, stopping in his tracks before turning back to the brunette who still hadn’t moved. He shook his head, closing the distance between them and coming to stand in front of him._

_Eddie looked up in surprise, their close proximity not lost on him. He could feel his emotions betraying him as the heat from Buck’s larger body was radiating on him._

_“Let me clarify one thing” Buck paused “In case you never talk to me again, like really talk to me. I have to say this and then we can never speak of it again. I am sorry if your feeling ambushed. I am sorry if my feeling this way has ruined our friendship forever. But, I’m not sorry that I was honest with you and if you can’t deal then that’s on you. I didn’t ask for this Eddie, I promise you I didn’t, and the fact that you are acting like this is something I wanted is infuriating. Never in a million years would I have wanted something that is making you look at me right now the way you are.”_

_And with that, his radiating body heat was gone. He shuffled out the door and it slammed behind him. Eddie let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. His legs shook beneath him and he leaned further back into the wall to support his body weight. It wasn’t enough as it almost felt like the floor was shaking below him. His knees buckled and he slid to the ground. He pulled his knees into his chest and lightly repelled his head backwards into the wall._

_Buck was in love with him. He was a complete and total ass to him. At a time when his best friend was unequivocally raw and honest with him, he’d shut down. What he couldn’t understand was why one part of him wanted to push Buck away and the other wanted to run out the door after him. His heart pounded in his chest, he wrung his hands anxiously over his knees, and tearing slipped out his closed eyelids no matter how hard he tried to will them away._

From his position on the couch, Eddie pulled himself from that memory. He wiped at the tears that were silently falling down his cheeks. After that night, Eddie and Buck didn’t talk. Outside of necessary communication at work, they didn’t talk. Until tonight. Tonight Buck had showed up showing more nerve then Eddie ever could have. He’d turned his back and shut down on his best friend during a time he needed him most. The one who’d stood by him when Shannon died. Who rode out all the ups and downs with Christopher. The one person he counted on more than anyone else in this world. Eddie still didn’t understand what inner demon made him react to Buck the way he did. It still made no sense in Eddie’s mind.

He took a deep breath and pushed himself up off of the couch. His feet carried him into his bedroom and over to his dresser. He pulled open the top drawer and shuffled some things around. The little square of paper appeared. He hesitated before slowly picking it up into his fingers. He smiled at the memory. It was one of those photo booth shots from the pier. He and Buck were huddled together in the confined space, Christopher snuggled in between both of their laps. He studied Buck’s facial features. God he missed that smile on his best friend’s face. The smile that could end world wars. The one of Christopher’s wasn’t far behind. It had been so long since they were all this happy. His heart yearned for those moments. Back when times were simple. Nothing was simple anymore. Eddie was lonely. Chris hadn’t been himself in months. Buck was suddenly back in their lives and he seemed happy. Eddie was happy for him. _Wasn’t he?_ Eddie placed the photo back in his top drawer and shuffled some socks back over it. Eddie didn’t know how he felt anymore and that scared him more than anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Let me know what your thinking!! :)


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